dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
Randomize
