You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
He had one of those small greek statue penises
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
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