Text me right after you finish, I want to know how the ghetto fleshlight worked out
How about I just call you while I'm doing it so you can hear my reaction?
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
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