and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
Randomize
