You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
Randomize
