I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Randomize
