I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
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