dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
MIDGETS
????
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
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