Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
We're hate flirting, damnit.
Randomize
