Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
Randomize
