After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
i just told my mom tuesday boozeday rhymes so that she can remember not to text or call me on wednesday mornings
youre going to kill that woman one of these days
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
