I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
