there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
you're hired as official boob wrangler
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Randomize
