do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
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