Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
so when our kids ask "when did you know you loved mommy?" you're gonna say "when she sent me emoticons about slobbing on my knob?"
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
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