We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
That was before I lit my hair on fire
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
