thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
First drunken handjob: not successful. Second handjob, mostly sober: much better. Nightly news brought to you by me.
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
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