Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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