they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
He has the fingertips of a God
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