Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
Randomize
