i'm lost and i look like a hooker
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
Randomize
