He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
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