Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
Randomize
