just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
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