Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
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