you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
Randomize
