How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
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