My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
Randomize
