Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
Can you bring me the toilet please
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
Randomize
