Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
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