My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
You need Xanax blowdarts
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
that is very illegal...i love you.
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
