i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
and this is why i am such an inspirational person, i am the Joel Osteen of alcoholics.
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
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