I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
Randomize
