okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
Randomize
