i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Randomize
