Fuck u you updated twitter but didn't answer my text
I know you're alive
Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
Randomize
