do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Randomize
