Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
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