Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
Randomize
