Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
Randomize
