I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
I need to wash the frat house off of me
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
You left your phone here
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