My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
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