last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
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