im as drunk as the barefoot contessa. GET TO MY LEVEL
dude. stop pregaming the food network.
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
Randomize
