he shaved USA in his pubs
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
