after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
Randomize
