i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
that is very illegal...i love you.
Randomize
