Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
Randomize
