he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
Randomize
