Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
i just made my gag reflex go away.
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
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